he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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