just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Randomize
