Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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