Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize