I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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