So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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