She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
