i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
