No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
