Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
