You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
