do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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