the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
