coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
