I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize