Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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