All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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