p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
