i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
