From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
