I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
