I'm really into asian looking animals
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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