I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
