Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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