Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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