why didn't you poke me back
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
