that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
