Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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