Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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