I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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