She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
