he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize