You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
