I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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