I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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