I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
