am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"