i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.