Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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