Kiss
Puke
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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