Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
