My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dignity is for republicans.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
