Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
