Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
