for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
