and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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