wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize