the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize