I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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