I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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