I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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