she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
