She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
