she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
