Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
