She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So squirting runs in the family.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
