He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
