This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
