For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
