ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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