I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
