Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
