I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
