I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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