i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize