I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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