Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Still dying that you shit outside
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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