I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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